Dear Son: Not such a big ask.
02 September 2016, by We Are FamilyDear Son,We are confident that you know how much you are loved. We know that you are happy living with us and we can see that you have attached and that you are settled in your forever family, yet we are also aware of a sadness that pains us to our core.We think that it is no longer directly to do with the memories of your difficult start in life and the losses that you have suffered, but that it is all to do with what has been left behind by these experiences.We can see that your past has robbed you of self esteem and self confidence which manifests itself as an inability to play nicely and to make friends - which is desperately cruel for a child who clearly needs them so much.We see you try SO hard - much too hard - with the children around you and we can see how your attempts are misguided and how they achieve the exact opposite of what you want them/need them to and you simply push your playmates away.The hurt that this causes you is so evident and we feel helpless in our inability to stop that pain.We want to teach you that no matter how important friends are in our lives that you can be happy all by yourself. That you are loved and cherished with every ounce of our being and that the great happiness we share as a family really can be enough for now - if you let it.There is plenty of time ahead of you, time to build up your confidence and to make friends who appreciate you for who you are.If you could just allow yourself to be happy with what you have then this is what will attract friends, this is what people respond to and then you will not have to try at all.But how to make you understand or indeed appreciate this?You are 8 years old and just want to be liked by your peers and have even one person who you can call a friend because you genuinely feel like they are.I can appreciate that no matter how tough we can see that it is, in your world it is just not such a big ask,
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