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Parenting is hard work.

Parenting is hard work. - Lacie Slezak 128106 Unsplash

I underestimated how hard parenting is.

I love my child dearly and parenting him has turned out to be both more wonderful and more rewarding than I could have ever imagined but also much much harder than I ever thought.

It's hard, testing work and it's difficult to navigate. 

One of this things I feel most stupid about in retrospect is just how hard it is to put and keep boundaries in place. I always looked at parents who didn't bother with them and thought they must have a screw loose, because from the outside it looked like much harder work letting their children run rings, demanding whatever they want.

I naively imagined it was a simple as putting a rule/boundary in place and then simply sticking to it so everyone knows where they stand and harmony would abound right?  

Wrong!

Turns out they do this stuff anyway! - the demanding, the procrastinating, the "that's so unfair".

They have a relentless energy and drive to push and keep pushing for hours on end; and it is our job to either crumble and give in (and in so doing get five minutes peace..) or to hold fast and keep that boundary in place - hopefully from a place of calmness... (yeah right!) 

It truly is a test of stamina. Why did nobody tell me?

So it's actually a lot easier to not do this work and I realise now why some parents do occasionally cave in, because some days we just don't have the strength in us. 

We just do the best we can.

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  • Crisman

    Dear adoptive parent,
    Thanks for reading my mind with your post at the end of a difficult day where all my buttons have been pushed: it’s been so hard to keep the boundary all along the way!!!
    And I am glad I am not alone on the battlefield. True all the hugging and cuddling with our child afterwards are rewarding but thanks anyway for making me genuinely smile at the end of a fiery day!!! Xxx

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