In our latest blog post, a member and single adopter writes a letter describing how she put into practice a technique she learned at a WAF Talks Webinar: Attachment Sense- The sensory side of attachment, with Caireen McGlashan.
I attended your workshop today and then later on that evening my son was having a meltdown at the end of bath time, making the whole bathroom into a swimming pool by splashing in anger and frustration.
I shared with him that a lady had taught me some lovely things today that may help him to feel calmer. After drying him, although he was still agitated, I asked him to sit on the floor so I could reach his ankles, I turned him upside down and swung him gently like a pendulum. I know that he likes this but never before thought to use it to help him regulate. He immediately said “mmmm, this is so nice mummy, it feels like peace and quiet” (His exact words!)
Blown away, I rested, then did it again and he asked for more.
I can’t believe that something so simple, used in a moment of complete meltdown can work so effectively.
It’s so interesting how it also changed my behaviour, because in the moment I was thinking about what activity I could use, it stopped me from focusing on the fact that I was annoyed that the bathroom was wrecked, which kept me calm too, enabling us to stay connected, both regulating better so much so that I completely forgot about the bathroom until I went back in there much later! At that point though, I was able to not let it bother me.
Looking forward to using more of what was learnt in the workshop, relieved to know that rather than getting stressed myself and feeling demoralised when my son is dysregulated, I now have a clearer understanding of what I can do to help him in the moment, which in turn helps me to feel calmer and more regulated too. As well as lots of other activities that I can add into everyday life and play to make for calmer, more fun and loving days with my little boy.
It has been a tough year for my son and I. He became dysregulated because of all the change during the pandemic, and then because I was exhausted from the effects of parenting round the clock in lockdown as a single adopter, I became dysregulated too.
We’ve been having trouble breaking that cycle, but now I actually think with what I learned today at the webinar, my son and I can have some fun exploring what works for us using the regulation strategies, and the background understanding you’ve given me around why my son’s energy and movement are how they are!
I don’t feel so scared about the future now, which, although I didn’t realise it before today, is how I was feeling.
Anyway…just wanted you to know the difference you have made.
Thank you so much Caireen and those that made it possible for the workshop to take place.
From a mum
We Are Family members can watch Caireen’s webinar on demand on the member hub here or by searching Previous Webinars.
Author: We Are Family member