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We Are Family

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Category:
Adoption

246 posts in this category

Tribute to a Foster Mum

My husband and I were scared witless the first time we met our son’s foster mum. She didn’t make eye contact with either of us and her body language was closed - hostile, even. Both arms wrapped tightly across her soft bosom.

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Oh, All Kids Do That

These are words that I’m sure we’ve all heard many times from well-meaning friends and family. We know they’re trying to reassure, to be kind and that, really, they mean, “Don’t worry, you've got this, you’re doing a good job.” But that’s often not how the words are heard. For me, I always hear them as, “Don’t make such a fuss; you’re over thinking things; the problem must be you, if you’re finding this so hard.”

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Toxic Ambivalence

I’ve recently had a school-related episode that has given me much heartache and pause for thought. Another mother’s ambivalence towards my daughter. How she supported her daughter's ambivalence. And where all that has left my child. Her anxiety levels are rocketing. But it is all so subtle. You wouldn’t know it if you don’t know her. How she speaks too fast, too loud, doesn’t listen, bumps into things and people too hard. Dysregulation, my old friend. Normally I see it coming, but somehow I didn’t this time. 

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Who Loves You?

As I hope most parents do we tell our sons that we love them every single day - often multiple times a day - and by now (almost 6 years as a family) we are pretty sure that they understand it and believe it.

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Pick Me!

The last few weeks have not been the best healthwise.

I’ve been wracked with a confusing pain and fatigue in every joint, leaving me unable to complete the most basic of tasks – let alone care for my daughter in the way that I am used to.

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Long Live the King!

My parents are agnostic and I was not brought up with any kind of religious belief, practice or ritual. 

When as a family we moved to a small village in the Midlands which had a quaint old village church, my parents thought it might be nice to give me and my brother some religious instruction via the church’s Sunday school but we rebelled - having had no prior involvement and therefor feeling out of place.

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7 Years

My mother lived to just 62, far too young of course and her death seemed illogical and unjust at the time. However, just how young she was is only now starting to sink in - more than 16 years later.

I'm 55 this year, just 7 years younger than she was when she died. 

7 years! It will fly by...

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Therapeutic Parenting.

We get it!

We not only understand the benefits of therapeutic parenting, but we now have plenty of first hand experience of it working, of it regulating our son with Reactive attachment disorder in a way that ‘normal’ parenting simple does not.

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