Circles

We Are Family

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Category:
Becoming a family

134 posts in this category

Something more to love

I have written previously about the pressure that adoption puts on relationships and how the need to focus on the child/children so singularly can create problems in even the healthiest of partnerships and of course it is at the exact time that we need to be most united and strongest as a couple.

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Good enough partners

We were told that it was going to be tough on our relationship, that it would add stress and could highlight issues that maybe we were unaware even existed and that most certainly it would bring any festering issues to the surface and make us confront them head on. We were warned that adopting - particularly adopting more than one child - could indeed destroy less well established, less secure relationships.

And thank goodness our relationship is so strong, because they were right

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Dear birth daughter

I'll admit, love, that I’ve always found ‘the baby game’ irritating. The game you most often ask me to play with you, usually at the most inconvenient times. A game I didn’t really understand, or the fascination it held for you. At 10-years old, and nearly as tall as me, you’d want to be a helpless, mewling, wriggling little thing, while your adopted sister, although five years younger, was assigned the ‘teenage babysitter’ role or, if she protested too much, a twin baby to you, but one that was ‘smart’, and could ‘do more’ – the one that didn’t need so much attention.

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Dear Daughter: Jelly arms

I know that you do spend a fair amount of time in the car being shuttled around and you don't make much of a fuss about it, and there's not always that much to look at; but I'd like you to know - in the kindest possible way - that it is not necessary to remind me on each and every journey, that as I drive over speed bumps, holes in the road, etc, that the skin on my arms and legs "wobbles about like a jelly".

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Dear Lilly

I can only guess what a huge upheaval it is going to be for you, to move from what you know as your family home with T, O and the kids.

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Dancing on a tightrope

Five years old, the books tell me, is an age when my daughter is not going to be that interested in her life history and experience tells me that’s true. But it is also the age when children start noticing the world around me, hence the various conversations I have had in recent months around the theme of “my child was asking why your daughter doesn’t have a daddy. What should I tell them?”

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A Birthday Wish

It's your birthday, it's your birthday.
Last year we didn't see you.
But we thought of you so much.
All day, every hour.

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Things I want you to know dear daughter

I'm writing a letter to you to be read when you're a little older.

I'm writing it now before I forget all of the emotions and events that whirl past me at a hundred miles an hour as I attempt to mother you to the best of my abilities

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