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We Are Family

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Category:
Contact

10 posts in this category

Contact Trauma

Last night my daughter awoke just as we were going to bed. She staggered into our room, disorientated, on the verge of tears. She looked as if she was struggling to get out of her own skin, twitchy movements, evident discomfort, flinching when touched.

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Hurting or Healing?

The first contact package we received did not go down well with our son, who was very little at the time.  It contained a book his birth mum had made about herself. It was very emotional and, whilst it was her truth, was too dysregulating for a young child. 

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Letter Box Contact

Yearly letter box contact has been agreed and we diligently get the boys to write Christmas cards for birth Mummy and Daddy - regardless of indifference from our oldest and huge resistance from his younger brother - in addition we put pen to paper and write a letter updating them on the boys past year.

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8 and counting

We adopted two brothers who we knew to be part of a sibling group of 5.

We were later to discover that in fact there was an additional, older half sister (paternal), as she lived with her mother she had nothing to do with social services or indeed us.

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Follow up: A birth mum shares her thoughts

I am a birth mom and I can’t say that I agree that its “always adoptive families” that “action, chase, fight for the best outcome of the child”. The agency I went through has done a lot to help and has a strong desire to help in whatever way they can for all three parties involved. Also, I have reached out, expressed feelings, respected the wishes of the adoptive parents and I have been rejected. It is true that every family is different. I have so much respect for you and other families that try to maintain contact with birth parents for the benefit of your child." 

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Flowers

I previously wrote a blog about the break down of the long term foster placement and guardianship of our sons older sister, I ended by saying that we hoped that the the new placement the sister had been moved to was a good one and would offer her the security she so deserves.

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Ask the 8 year old

She was just 8 at the time and she was being asked if she wanted to stay in the home she had known for - at that point - over 2 yrs with people who cared for her and offered her the only real security she had ever really known - at the expense of staying with her brothers. Or to continue to wait for... well, the totally unknown.

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Any Advice Gratefully Accepted

When I adopted my daughter I agreed to annual direct contact with her birth father. I didn't want her to hit teenage years with all the possible angst that that can entail and ask why I wouldn't let her see him when there was no reason for me doing so other than 'I didnt want to share you'.

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Flummoxed, Perplexed and Bewildered

Forgive my bluntness, and I'm sorry this blog won't be more entertaining but I'm desperate for information so I've come here to get it off my chest and let it all hang out…
We brought our beautiful three year old daughter home 2 years ago as a 13 month old baby and were informed she was the youngest of five (to our knowledge) siblings and half siblings dotted around the country. All have the same biological mother but apparently (again - to our knowledge) one of them may well also have the same biological father making this a full sibling.

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