22 March 2019, by We Are Family (1395 views)
A Letter To My Younger Self
This week, an adoptee blogs for us. She writes a letter to herself at different stages, starting with the neglected baby and ending with the hopeful, thriving adult.
60 posts in this category
This week, an adoptee blogs for us. She writes a letter to herself at different stages, starting with the neglected baby and ending with the hopeful, thriving adult.
I had the pleasure of sharing my birthday with you this month, but it was tinged with equal joy and sadness.
I’ve recently had a school-related episode that has given me much heartache and pause for thought. Another mother’s ambivalence towards my daughter. How she supported her daughter's ambivalence. And where all that has left my child. Her anxiety levels are rocketing. But it is all so subtle. You wouldn’t know it if you don’t know her. How she speaks too fast, too loud, doesn’t listen, bumps into things and people too hard. Dysregulation, my old friend. Normally I see it coming, but somehow I didn’t this time.
We have recently gone through a phase of making and eating a lot (almost too much) honey cake. Some weeks we have made one every single day and it all began way back with Winnie the Pooh.
I left my nearly 10 year old daughter at home, on her own, for the first time last week.
I knew she was tired and that a 10 minute walk to collect her sister from a local playdate would be met with moaning and groaning, so I gave her the option of staying at home whilst I popped out...
....I’d share some of the books that have helped our family along the way as we wrestled with tangled feelings and attachments, not adoption books per se, just beautiful stories. So, this is not exactly a review, not exactly a blog, just some thoughts on the healing power of story.
......I once told off a Dad at a football match for swearing in front of his 7-year-old son and told them both off even more when his son aimed the swearing at me... And had the audacity to tell the Dad off and to say “Look what you’ve taught your son to do – how proud you must be.” And surprisingly got away without a split lip for my trouble.
I have just come me home from a wedding where one of the guests leaned across the table and asked "Is that your daughter running around?" When I answered in the affirmative she triumphantly announced to the table "I knew it! She is the absolute image of you! It's like someone has taken a blue print of you and put it into a little person.”
When I found your profile you were 5 years old and I fell in love instantly - they say you know when you find the one, but to be honest I didn't believe them.
Four years ago today you arrived in our home twinkly and tiny and so brave under the circumstances... Or did we misread that? In retrospect you must have been flooded with fear...
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