Since we first read about our daughter, we’ve known that there were half siblings out there somewhere, in other adoptive families. This knowledge, which we had but she did not, has felt very heavy.
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Most of us get obsessed about going back to work, dusting off the Lycra for a jog or giving up our vices at this time of year. But, for we adopters, it’s also worth taking a moment to reflect on the amazing things we’ve done, and choose resolutions that will make us happier, not just fitter or richer, in 2019.
As I hope most parents do we tell our sons that we love them every single day – often multiple times a day – and by now (almost 6 years as a family) we are pretty sure that they understand it and believe it.
My mother lived to just 62, far too young of course and her death seemed illogical and unjust at the time. However, just how young she was is only now starting to sink in – more than 16 years later.
I’m 55 this year, just 7 years younger than she was when she died.
7 years! It will fly by…
I’ve recently completed the first two days of the four day parenting course for adopters called The Great Behaviour Breakdown and I’m blown away already…
So for those of us attempting to support our children who come with a range of trauma and problematic starts in life; we spend a considerable amount of time observing – thinking about and trying to work with their coping mechanisms…
My siblings and I grew up being told by many around us what good parents we had and I guess we have always accepted that at face value…
‘I thought these are your real parents, no?’
‘So you are not real brother and sister then?’
I guess most adopters have experienced questions such as these being asked of us or our children at some point. It’s frustrating to say the least and at worse it can feel insulting and indeed be quite painful, even so I am surprised at some adopters reaction to it.
