Category

Identity

Sad Eyes

By Becoming a family, Family, Fostering, Identity, Parenting, Siblings, Trauma, We are Family No Comments

This week we stumbled upon a DVD that the boys brought with them when then first arrived that was filmed at a children’s play centre. It showed the pair of them sitting in a car seat ‘driving’ in front of a screen projecting moving cartoon images. We had watched it soon after they first arrived and it is sweet and charming and we thought it a lovely little peep at the younger – yet to be part of our world – them.

However, watching it again now is very different indeed, and what we see are two almost unrecognisable little boys

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ACE scores in the family

By Attachment, Becoming a family, Family, Identity, Parenting, Trauma, We are Family No Comments

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) has far-reaching implications, including the surprising benefits of going through the healing process. 

The more I look at my parenting, the more I, and the way I was parented, stand in the way. Looking at the screen and my ACE score there is no other way of looking at it either. I have to look at my own roots. And deep down this really isn’t about me.

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The Twelve Blogs of Christmas #11: Memories of Christmases Past

By Christmas, Family, Identity, Parenting, Trauma No Comments

I have not always been okay with my lack of memory; it used to create an unsettling lack of self. I didn’t know who I was, because I didn’t have the tools to deal with all the bad things in my childhood. And in my respected, academic family it was preferred to sweep it under the carpet and uphold the illusion of a well-functioning family.

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