The Twelve Blogs of Christmas #11: Memories of Christmases Past

By Christmas, Family, Identity, Parenting, Trauma No Comments

I have not always been okay with my lack of memory; it used to create an unsettling lack of self. I didn’t know who I was, because I didn’t have the tools to deal with all the bad things in my childhood. And in my respected, academic family it was preferred to sweep it under the carpet and uphold the illusion of a well-functioning family.

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They f*** you up

By Adoption assessment, Becoming a family, Birth family, Family, Identity, Parenting, Trauma, We are Family No Comments

It’s said that once you become a parent you will get to know someone who you have known all your life but never really known. Your own parents. Usually this is said with tenderness and often forgiveness.

Since I became a mum I have got to know mine better too. Only they don’t come out the better for it. It has stirred up a lot of deep seated resentment and anger.

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