101 posts in this category
10 May 2019, by We Are Family
In this age of fake news, perhaps I need to re-evaluate my
feelings about lies. I hate them. I have a thing about lying, cheating and
everything else to do with falsehood.
And I know we are not supposed to use the L word, but I do. Something that’s dishonestly
made up is a lie. I know that’s not therapeutic, but, like I said, I have a
thing about it. How can I be therapeutic for something I need therapy about?
Enough of me. This is actually about my otherwise delightful
son, who is very much into lies.
26 April 2019, by We Are Family
We have recently had some involvement with CAMHS which has (unlike our previous encounter) been quite positive. We’ve talked through what’s working, what’s not, how we can try to shift things that seem a bit stuck. The psychologist has been quite upfront in his appraisal of us: he was concerned maybe I was not affectionate and loving enough, or the differences in my partner and my own parenting style were incompatible and causing conflict. He was happy to report he was assured this was not the case and, while we were different, this was within the ‘normal' range of difference!
22 February 2019, by We Are Family
I love my child more than I thought would be possible; more than I could imagine. But I always pause when someone who hasn’t adopted asks, "Would you do it all again?"
03 January 2019, by We Are Family
Most of us get obsessed about going back to work, dusting off the Lycra for a jog or giving up our vices at this time of year. But, for we adopters, it's also worth taking a moment to reflect on the amazing things we've done, and choose resolutions that will make us happier, not just fitter or richer, in 2019.
23 November 2018, by We Are Family
The 2018 Adoption UK Life Story Work conference opened with a speech from Sue Armstrong-Brown about the difference between the facts of our life versus the narrative. Many of our children are given the facts of their life but are unable to create a meaningful narrative without assistance. This is why life story work can be so important.
09 November 2018, by We Are Family
Last weekend, we had one of those classic adopter moments. Just getting on with life when, suddenly, pitch invasion by Grief.
05 October 2018, by We Are Family
A recent weekend away with a friend's son threw up moral dilemmas that I was not expecting. How we parents have to interpret other families' norms, how our own standards clash with those of the culture we're parenting in, and how innocent assumption can lead us into treacherous territory.
28 September 2018, by We Are Family
These are words that I’m sure we’ve all heard many times from well-meaning friends and family. We know they’re trying to reassure, to be kind and that, really, they mean, “Don’t worry, you've got this, you’re doing a good job.” But that’s often not how the words are heard. For me, I always hear them as, “Don’t make such a fuss; you’re over thinking things; the problem must be you, if you’re finding this so hard.”
27 July 2018, by We Are Family
As I hope most parents do we tell our sons that we love them every single day - often multiple times a day - and by now (almost 6 years as a family) we are pretty sure that they understand it and believe it.
13 July 2018, by We Are Family
Here are a few of the moments of wonder that adoption has brought to my life...