Social workers are just people doing a job and of course like all of us they are sometimes less than perfect; however they are dealing with people’s lives so even simple mistakes can be emotionally wounding. We became very aware of this through our own experience and also that of friends who have also been through the adoption process. It can be as simple as failing to immediately tell you of a change in the panel date – which of course means a huge amount to you, but is just a correction in a diary to them – to fundamentally not “getting it”.
Hearing that We Are Family and the South London Adoption Consortium were running a presentation on “Why Children Placed From Care Need Support In Schools” was exciting news for me on multiple fronts. As a prospective adopter, I am trying to gather as much information as possible to help me prepare for life as an adoptive parent, but additionally, by day I work as a Deputy Headteacher at a London Primary School, and am always keen to learn more about how I can support vulnerable pupils at school.
So with two hats on, I felt like I was well placed to write a review (or two) of the evening. Thanks to We Are Family for giving me the chance to share my thoughts!
We soon realised – and it was a shocking realisation – that we were in it over our heads. We had listened intently at the prep’ course, read copiously, had scoured the internet, picked the minds of the experienced parents around us; we thought we were prepared. However, can anything truly prepare you for the impact of an adopted child coming into your life? Especially when a child displays the trademark behaviour of a traumatised child?
I loved my life, I had it good – so much attention and so much affection. The two of them to look after me, to care for me and to make me feel secure and they did a mighty fine job of it.
We had been together for almost 7 years and things were just fine, there was peace, there was understanding and there was love.
Christmas has been different this year. The decorations are up, the cake and turkey were cooked and eaten but something else happened. It was months in the limbo stage; all the usual social services blurb and all the red tape, and now suddenly she’s here in time for the celebrations. Our beautiful daughter! This is our second time around and most…
Christmas can often be a time for reflection on what went before. “Auntie, your baby is a twinkle in the sky.” had said my beautiful, little freckly niece soon after my summer wedding. I will never forget those words. The winter that followed was tough. It was freezing, the country covered in snow. I sat at my office desk, consumed…