We Are Family share our views on the early plans for the Independent Review of Children’s Social Care and offer support in gathering insights to inform the review and shape recommendations.
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It’s National Adoption Week (12th-18th 2020) and we are here to support you.
We have recently had some involvement with CAMHS which has (unlike our previous encounter) been quite positive. We’ve talked through what’s working, what’s not, how we can try to shift things that seem a bit stuck. The psychologist has been quite upfront in his appraisal of us: he was concerned maybe I was not affectionate and loving enough, or the differences in my partner and my own parenting style were incompatible and causing conflict. He was happy to report he was assured this was not the case and, while we were different, this was within the ‘normal’ range of difference!
As I hope most parents do we tell our sons that we love them every single day – often multiple times a day – and by now (almost 6 years as a family) we are pretty sure that they understand it and believe it.
I’ve recently completed the first two days of the four day parenting course for adopters called The Great Behaviour Breakdown and I’m blown away already…
‘What ever makes you think your son is securely attached?’ The kind therapist said.
I was puzzled.
‘Erm. I’m his mum and he reaches straight for me if he is upset…?! …: Erm … dunno. We are very close. We have a strong bond… I think… I just know.’
‘Ok. How long has he been with you?’
‘Three years.’
‘I’d be very surprised if he was securely attached. Most adopted kids are insecurely attached.’
Our son has been kicked out of school.
That is two and a half years of almost constant struggle (and endless meetings) with the school reduced to just one line.
It’s been one week since my son was diagnosed at St Thomas’ with ASD (Autism), ADHD, ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) and major emotional regulation difficulties. He was diagnosed by a panel consisting of a Paediatrician, Psychologist, Psychiatrist, Speech and Language Therapist and Occupational Therapist who spent 3 hours assessing him. They were thorough, professional and understanding.
We had friends staying for a long weekend, a childless couple as well as a family with two children. It was fascinating watching the couple suddenly knee deep in four kids 24/7,
The first time I met Digger, I thought his smell was strange, and truth be told, unpleasant, vaguely off-putting. It made me very worried. How could I bond with him if I didn’t like the way he smelt? Was it a fundamental dislike I had sensed? Was adopting him going to unravel because of it?
