Is It Me, Or…?

By Siblings, Trauma No Comments

At half term, I decided to put one of my kids in clubs while
the other had 1:1 time with me. The elder went first and all was well, as I had
expected. After a day away from his brother, with whom he is locked in war, he
felt nourished, attended to, happy. I had been able to let him make more
choices than usual and he really rose to that. 

The youngest, however, presented me with a very different
day out. 

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I Hate You.

By Siblings, Trauma, We are Family No Comments

I was at a meeting with non adoptive parents and somebody brought up the fact that their child had screamed ‘I hate you’ at them the day before and how hurt she had been by this, almost all of the other parents said that they had experienced the same and the group went on to discuss how difficult it is to hear  and how hurt they had been.

Both our sons have indeed declared their hate for us in fits of anger – as well as the possibly more dramatic ‘you are not my parents anyway’, but neither my partner or I had been hurt or upset.

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