Circles

We Are Family

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Category:
Siblings

62 posts in this category

War Horse

I have always loved the cinema and always tried to see films that I was interested in on the big screen and I have always felt a bit 'cheated' if I have missed something when first released and had to watch it on DVD/TV, however with our sons I now realise that there are in fact great advantages to watching a film at home together.

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A letter to the makers of Inside Out

Dear makers of Inside Out, 

I just wanted to write and thank you for what I consider to be one of the best films ever made.

To explain, I have found being an adoptive Mum, at times, an extremely difficult and highly charged emotional experience.

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My heart swells

My heart breaks when I think of their past, when I think of them suffering, of them left uncared for, for every day that they went hungry and for each cry that went unanswered.

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Broken

When I look at my two children I see, unreserved joy, excitement for the today and for the tomorrow and I feel goodness flows from them to me. They nourish our family unit and make us whole.
When I look at my siblings however, I see nothing but broken glass, jagged edges and unreadable faces and I am touched beyond belief that the tragedy of our childhood is so apparent.

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Good enough partners

We were told that it was going to be tough on our relationship, that it would add stress and could highlight issues that maybe we were unaware even existed and that most certainly it would bring any festering issues to the surface and make us confront them head on. We were warned that adopting - particularly adopting more than one child - could indeed destroy less well established, less secure relationships.

And thank goodness our relationship is so strong, because they were right

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Scared of Water

I am sitting besides a pool watching my partner and sons play in the water. It is loud, excited, fast and furious play, lots of splashing and swimming, jumping and diving, so much fun, so much joy. It is a great pleasure to watch and I soak up every minute.

We were on a similar holiday 18 months months or so ago, lots of sun and lots of chances for the boys to use the swimming pool or play in the sea, however things were quite different then

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Dear birth daughter

I'll admit, love, that I’ve always found ‘the baby game’ irritating. The game you most often ask me to play with you, usually at the most inconvenient times. A game I didn’t really understand, or the fascination it held for you. At 10-years old, and nearly as tall as me, you’d want to be a helpless, mewling, wriggling little thing, while your adopted sister, although five years younger, was assigned the ‘teenage babysitter’ role or, if she protested too much, a twin baby to you, but one that was ‘smart’, and could ‘do more’ – the one that didn’t need so much attention.

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Kissing

My partner and I were kissed as children by both our parents (which isn't as obvious to some as we may assume) and we don't think twice about it with our sons. In fact if I stop and consider it at all I would say that we saw it as a bit of a short cut to bonding and attachment and a way of showing them that we were open emotionally to them right from the start.

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Dear Sons

We know you think that it is tough on you, but it's clear that you don't see that it is not easy for us either.

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