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We Are Family

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Category:
Traditions

30 posts in this category

Who Loves You?

As I hope most parents do we tell our sons that we love them every single day - often multiple times a day - and by now (almost 6 years as a family) we are pretty sure that they understand it and believe it.

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Long Live the King!

My parents are agnostic and I was not brought up with any kind of religious belief, practice or ritual. 

When as a family we moved to a small village in the Midlands which had a quaint old village church, my parents thought it might be nice to give me and my brother some religious instruction via the church’s Sunday school but we rebelled - having had no prior involvement and therefor feeling out of place.

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Independence days

I grew up in the 60's/70's and had a pretty idyllic childhood in the English countryside. My oldest memories are of playing out with a friend of the same age, the pair of us wondering around alone in the village that my family moved from when I was just 5. We moved to a small town and my siblings and I played out alone from the day we arrived, this included playing in playgrounds, on farmland, building sites and also at the beach (as well as in the sea) which was a 2 mile walk from our house and a journey we undertook on foot quite regularly.

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Impressions

So, recently I’ve started to muse on my qualities as both a human being and a father. Why do I react the way I do to certain stimuli? What is it that makes me feel a certain way? How much of my angst-ridden crap am I inadvertently passing to my daughter? Am I a good person? Do I want my daughter to be like me?

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The Twelve Blogs of Christmas #7: So Macho

DSC_4363Last year for Christmas we gave our oldest son a simple MP3 player. We went through our music collection and filled it with happy pop songs that we felt he would enjoy - and enjoy them he does.Very quickly he learnt some of the lyrics and he merrily sings along - often at the top of his voice - and very quickly we realised the error of our ways.We are gay dads and without considering it we had filled our young son's gift with VERY 'gay man' music.Immediately his favourite song became 'it's raining men', closely followed by 'dancing queen', 'YMCA' and ironically, 'So Macho'.I have never been under the illusion that I have a cool taste in music, which is fortunate because if I ever had been it would have been quashed when my nephews reached the age when they could express their feelings about it; it was often clearly stated that I like 'sad old gay man's music'.And here I am passing it on to my son.I am the first to scream about the merits of gay adoption, but even I have to acknowledge that when it comes to music, there could be a real downside for our children.I am now going to take my tongue out of my cheek to go and 'daddy dance' around the Christmas tree to something very butch...where is that K D Lang CD?

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The Twelve Blogs of Christmas #6: A three and a half year old describes Christmas.

[caption id="attachment_1332" align="alignleft" width="225"]Photo by Lili Gooch Photo by Lili Gooch[/caption]I don’t want to tell anyone about Christmas because you’re not my friend because you won’t let me blow the silver blower because the dog doesn’t like it. Christmas is all about – I love my headphones – my people coming like Gran-Gran and Nanna and my cousins. I like Christmas because little FlatOut – my friend FlatOut - is squeaking and he likes Christmas because he likes to help everyone. And Billy doesn’t look Christmassy because he hasn’t got a Christmas hat – can we get him one from the shops? Everyone comes at Christmas, don’t they? At Christmas Eve my friends are coming – and my pink table can be the table for all the guys at Christmas. And Lily will need a comfy chair – can I put it there ready for Christmas now? Please? I just want to make it look like it needs to be so everyone can sit on my table and sit next to me for Christmas. Why not now? But I’ve already told you all about Christmas, Daddy. Stop asking me. Yes, oh and there are presents for Christmas, that’s correct. Because we get presents and can I look at what’s in those presents? Please, Daddy. OK – well I don’t want to wait. But OK. Can you wipe my nose? And the Snowman – I love that. That’s for Christmas as well, isn’t it Daddy? I love it – they sing in the sky – it’s so good isn’t it? It’s my favourite in the world. But I love Fungus the Bogeyman too because he’s so sticky at Christmas. There’s roast chicken for Christmas, cake, I love cake, don’t I? And Father Christmas comes and gives us presents, he’s red – that’s my favourite colour. And I can watch Rex at Christmas Eve. You know Rex. Rex, Daddy, Rex. This one here – Rex. Yes Shrek – that’s what I said. And Christmas is pretty; it’s pretty at Christmas. And our tree is good and so magical for Christmas. And look – there’s a Father Christmas candle hiding behind that card map. And that’s what friends are for. At Christmas everyone is friends together. I do like Christmas; I do Daddy. But I don’t want to tell you any more about Christmas, because you can think on your own, can’t you, Daddy. So just do that, ok?

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The Twelve Blogs of Christmas #5: Did they make the effort?

Image 5Did they make the effort?Did they decorate the house or even buy you presents?Did they make the day feel as wonderful as it should, did they make it feel special at all?Do you have any memories of your Christmases before we became a forever family? Memories to hold on to and cherish as children should have.Or was the neglect every day of the year?We can hope that it wasn't, hope that on this special day your needs were put before theirs. Hope that Christmas broke through the alcohol and drugs and brought out parenting they were incapable of the rest of the year.Everything in your life has changed now and we will make sure that your Christmases will be how you both deserve them to be and hopefully they will be valued and remembered for many years to come.Merry Christmas our Sons, our light, our life and Merry Christmas to your troubled birth parents who brought you into the world and without whom we could not be the family that we are.

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