42 posts in this category
08 March 2019, by We Are Family
At half term, I decided to put one of my kids in clubs while
the other had 1:1 time with me. The elder went first and all was well, as I had
expected. After a day away from his brother, with whom he is locked in war, he
felt nourished, attended to, happy. I had been able to let him make more
choices than usual and he really rose to that.
The youngest, however, presented me with a very different
02 March 2019, by We Are Family
I am in a really privileged position. Pre-adoption, I made it my mission to travel as much as possible and when I adopted I understood that this part of my life would end. But, surprise surprise, my six year-old came to me with a desire to travel and begging for a passport.
22 February 2019, by We Are Family
I love my child more than I thought would be possible; more than I could imagine. But I always pause when someone who hasn’t adopted asks, "Would you do it all again?"
08 February 2019, by We Are Family
Adopters seem to me to be a particularly squeezed segment of the squeezed generation. Often older parents, they soon care not only for their new child(ren) but also their ailing and aging parents. I’ve been observing this from a safe distance. Marvelling at the resilience and strength of these adopters.
18 January 2019, by We Are Family
I had the pleasure of sharing my birthday with you this month, but it was tinged with equal joy and sadness.
28 September 2018, by We Are Family
These are words that I’m sure we’ve all heard many times from well-meaning friends and family. We know they’re trying to reassure, to be kind and that, really, they mean, “Don’t worry, you've got this, you’re doing a good job.” But that’s often not how the words are heard. For me, I always hear them as, “Don’t make such a fuss; you’re over thinking things; the problem must be you, if you’re finding this so hard.”
29 June 2018, by We Are Family
My mother lived to just 62, far too young of course and her death seemed illogical and unjust at the time. However, just how young she was is only now starting to sink in - more than 16 years later.
I'm 55 this year, just 7 years younger than she was when she died.
7 years! It will fly by...
22 June 2018, by We Are Family
I’ve recently completed the first two days of the four day parenting course for adopters called The Great Behaviour Breakdown and I’m blown away already...
25 May 2018, by We Are Family
So for those of us attempting to support our children who come with a range of trauma and problematic starts in life; we spend a considerable amount of time observing - thinking about and trying to work with their coping mechanisms...
20 April 2018, by We Are Family
I was at a meeting with non adoptive parents and somebody brought up the fact that their child had screamed ‘I hate you' at them the day before and how hurt she had been by this, almost all of the other parents said that they had experienced the same and the group went on to discuss how difficult it is to hear and how hurt they had been.
Both our sons have indeed declared their hate for us in fits of anger - as well as the possibly more dramatic ‘you are not my parents anyway’, but neither my partner or I had been hurt or upset.