Circles

We Are Family

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Category:
Trauma

42 posts in this category

A letter to the makers of Inside Out

Dear makers of Inside Out, 

I just wanted to write and thank you for what I consider to be one of the best films ever made.

To explain, I have found being an adoptive Mum, at times, an extremely difficult and highly charged emotional experience.

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Realistically high expectations

I started a Blog a while ago suggesting that adoptive parents needed to have realistic expectations of their children's school and especially of the child's teacher. 

Something stopped me completing the blog and now it is evident why that was so... I was wrong! Which sadly in our case has resulted in us failing to protect our son and failing to do right by him.

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My heart swells

My heart breaks when I think of their past, when I think of them suffering, of them left uncared for, for every day that they went hungry and for each cry that went unanswered.

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Parents need SUPPORT in order to ‘Parent Therapeutically’!

I want to ask you a question…

How does it FEEL, to parent a child who is quietly suffering!?

How does it FEEL, to parent a child who is hurting so bad, they flip into high octane expressiveness in a second?

How does it FEEL, to be with your child’s feelings, to be with such raw emotion – overt or covert?

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Sad Eyes

This week we stumbled upon a DVD that the boys brought with them when then first arrived that was filmed at a children's play centre. It showed the pair of them sitting in a car seat 'driving' in front of a screen projecting moving cartoon images. We had watched it soon after they first arrived and it is sweet and charming and we thought it a lovely little peep at the younger - yet to be part of our world - them.

However, watching it again now is very different indeed, and what we see are two almost unrecognisable little boys

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What's coming next?

Am I the only one feeling slightly overwhelmed by all the information we are confronted with  about our kids and their pasts and potential futures?

At the moment I feel like everywhere I look I’m reminded that life is going to be difficult. - Not that it's perfect for everyone else, but apparently it's going to be much harder for our children.

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ACE scores in the family

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) has far-reaching implications, including the surprising benefits of going through the healing process. 

The more I look at my parenting, the more I, and the way I was parented, stand in the way. Looking at the screen and my ACE score there is no other way of looking at it either. I have to look at my own roots. And deep down this really isn't about me.

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Points of view: A two-pronged review of Gareth Marr/Scott Casson-Rennie and Hermione Michaud’s talks at Southwark Library on Wednesday 24th February 2016.

Hearing that We Are Family and the South London Adoption Consortium were running a presentation on “Why Children Placed From Care Need Support In Schools” was exciting news for me on multiple fronts. As a prospective adopter, I am trying to gather as much information as possible to help me prepare for life as an adoptive parent, but additionally, by day I work as a Deputy Headteacher at a London Primary School, and am always keen to learn more about how I can support vulnerable pupils at school.

So with two hats on, I felt like I was well placed to write a review (or two) of the evening. Thanks to We Are Family for giving me the chance to share my thoughts!

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The Twelve Blogs of Christmas #11: Memories of Christmases Past

I have not always been okay with my lack of memory; it used to create an unsettling lack of self. I didn’t know who I was, because I didn’t have the tools to deal with all the bad things in my childhood. And in my respected, academic family it was preferred to sweep it under the carpet and uphold the illusion of a well-functioning family.

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The Red Front Door

I have lost a close friend plus had emergency spinal surgery – narrowly avoiding permanent paralysis of the legs. I should just be relieved and happy to have got through it all but really all I can think is Thank God we’re going on holiday because we’re all about to crash with the stress of the year so far…

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