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We Are Family

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Category:
Two dads

25 posts in this category

Are You Gay?

Why is it apparently so difficult for parents to ask their children if they are gay?

Time and time again we read or watch accounts of young men and woman coming out and saying that their mother or father said that they had realised for a long time.

Realised, but had said nothing. 

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Better Off With Straight Parents

....We were somewhat surprised and we had a number of questions, not least of which was why she felt she needed to be in a straight relationship to have children, we were even more surprised when the answer was that her therapist had said raising children in straight relationships was of course better than raising them in gay ones.

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Feeling a Fraud

In retrospect it's easy to see that it was probably just self doubt, but at the time it felt like something so much bigger, something so much more significant.

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Not in front of the children.

We were getting to the end of our assessment and panel was rapidly approaching, it had been long, intense and surprisingly emotional. We had a great social worker who we felt we got along with very well and who we found to be professional and very capable.

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​The truth, the whole truth and not always the truth.​

A few months after our sons moved in we went to visit a dear friend who was dying, he had arranged for somebody to buy presents for the boys, he engaged with them and he gave them lots of attention. Even though he was very poorly and in quite a bit of pain he made every effort to smile and welcome them and he clearly left an impression.

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One step ahead of the bully.

The only objection voiced to us as a gay couple when we decided to adopt, amazingly came from gay friends. None of our straight friends or family thought of it as anything other than a wonderful decision, for us and indeed for our future children.

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Something more to love

I have written previously about the pressure that adoption puts on relationships and how the need to focus on the child/children so singularly can create problems in even the healthiest of partnerships and of course it is at the exact time that we need to be most united and strongest as a couple.

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Good enough partners

We were told that it was going to be tough on our relationship, that it would add stress and could highlight issues that maybe we were unaware even existed and that most certainly it would bring any festering issues to the surface and make us confront them head on. We were warned that adopting - particularly adopting more than one child - could indeed destroy less well established, less secure relationships.

And thank goodness our relationship is so strong, because they were right

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