Circles

We Are Family

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​The truth, the whole truth and not always the truth.​

A few months after our sons moved in we went to visit a dear friend who was dying, he had arranged for somebody to buy presents for the boys, he engaged with them and he gave them lots of attention. Even though he was very poorly and in quite a bit of pain he made every effort to smile and welcome them and he clearly left an impression.

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​The truth, the whole truth and not always the truth.​

As good as we are.

I should think it's pretty obvious to say that our parenting dictates our child/children's behaviour.

We all know that if you are a 'bad' parent it will most probably translate into our child/children being badly behaved, but what if you are a good parent, what if you have read the books, been on the courses and you put your heart and soul into raising your family?

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As good as we are.

Denial

Due to increasingly difficult behaviour in school - which is now very much spilling over into our home life - my partner and I have been reassessing our son and the behaviour we are facing and we have concluded that he does indeed suffer from Reactive attachment disorder (RAD).

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Denial

Whose story is this anyway?

It's bath time.

There’s Quackers, Chloe the Cat, Minion, Turtley-Turtle, whose head moves in and out of his shell when he walks (wheels, to be technically accurate), and the Frozen Diamond Necklace, the brightest necklace in all the world, so bright that it’s impossible to look directly at it without burning your retina.

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Whose story is this anyway?

12 blogs under the christmas tree #12

A little more time. My parcel under the tree would be - an extra 4 hours at the end of the day. A gift to my partner, but one that I know I would benefit from too.

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12 blogs under the christmas tree #12

12 blogs under the Christmas tree #11

A Friend

That would be my Christmas gift for under the tree - if there were no limits and if anything was possible, that is what I would buy our son.

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12 blogs under the Christmas tree #11

12 blogs under the Christmas tree #10

My one special present under the Christmas tree would be a mini, pocket sized version of our family therapist. I could then pull her out to consult at those moments when I’m a bit lost as to how to respond to our daughter’s more dysregulated moments, or am just in need a bit of a confidence boost.

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12 blogs under the Christmas tree #10

12 Blogs under the Christmas tree #9

Under the Christmas tree this year is a new family! Let me explain. As a gay man family has always been a challenge. However, I would like to think I navigated it quite well, until I adopted....

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12 Blogs under the Christmas tree #9

12 Blogs under the Christmas tree #8

It's the first Christmas we have officially been a family of 4. Last year we had a court date in December that we had hoped would finalise the adoption, but a tiny overlooked detail meant that the judge deferred the decision until January. It wasn't what we had hoped for, but he was still with us and as far as we were concerned he was one of us. It just wasn't official yet.

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12 Blogs under the Christmas tree #8

12 Blogs under the Christmas tree #7

As I take stock as the year closes and assess where we are as a family, I feel acutely aware and quite sad about one very particular thing. I can see both our children have made big strides this year in terms of learning new skills - from "school stuff" like vocabulary, reading, writing and (possibly!) arithmetic to their chosen creative and sporting pursuits. But emotionally I feel, for our son, his reality has evolved very little.

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12 Blogs under the Christmas tree #7

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