Circles

We Are Family

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Category:
#waf

195 posts in this category

The Worst Babysitter

...Not going out is not any kind of sacrifice, we are older parents who are more than contented with what family life has brought and we never feel that we are missing out in any way - in fact quite the opposite, I think we relish the laziness of quiet nights in and the opportunity to recover from our busy days. 

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Finding Me a Family

Not me; I have one. Rather some reflections on the series on Channel 4 that ran before Christmas and on a recent blog in the context of us receiving our first contact letter from one of our child’s siblings, because ultimately it might turn out to be “Finding My Family” for them, in the fullness of time.

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Finding Me a Family

Better Off With Straight Parents

....We were somewhat surprised and we had a number of questions, not least of which was why she felt she needed to be in a straight relationship to have children, we were even more surprised when the answer was that her therapist had said raising children in straight relationships was of course better than raising them in gay ones.

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Better Off With Straight Parents

10 Missed Calls

Like many today I am somewhat attached to my smart phone and I have it within reach pretty much constantly. However I was recently away on holiday and just decided that I wanted a day without it so left it behind on a trip to the beach. I didn't miss it at all and in fact I barely gave it a thought throughout the day.

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10 Missed Calls

My daughter's sister.

...The envelope had come from the local authority so I assumed (wrongly) that it was the long overdue contact letter from birth mum but out tumbled all these pictures of a beautiful teenage girl who looked remarkably like my own daughter – but older.

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My daughter's sister.

​‘What ever makes you think your son is securely attached?'

‘What ever makes you think your son is securely attached?' The kind therapist said. 

I was puzzled.

‘Erm. I’m his mum and he reaches straight for me if he is upset...?! ...: Erm ... dunno. We are very close. We have a strong bond... I think... I just know.’

‘Ok. How long has he been with you?’

‘Three years.’

‘I’d be very surprised if he was securely attached. Most adopted kids are insecurely attached.’

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​‘What ever makes you think your son is securely attached?'

Feeling a Fraud

In retrospect it's easy to see that it was probably just self doubt, but at the time it felt like something so much bigger, something so much more significant.

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Feeling a Fraud

Reassurance, reassurance, reassurance.

‘That’s the name of the game in the early days. Reassurance.’ said the social worker on the phone. ‘Just reassure him that everything will be ok. As much a you possibly can.’

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Reassurance, reassurance, reassurance.

Unattached to school.

Our son has been kicked out of school. 

That is two and a half years of almost constant struggle (and endless meetings) with the school reduced to just one line.

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Unattached to school.

Our big adoption friendly / attachment aware school choice gamble.

Almost three years ago, we met our fabulous children and started family life together. While in the throes of building a family relationship and surviving instant parenting of a 1 & 3 year old, we were pressured by our children's social worker to select and apply for our daughters school place fairly early into our placement. Under time pressure, not knowing many local families with school aged children and being fairly emotionally exhausted, I will admit to doing fairly limited local research… visiting one school...

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Our big adoption friendly / attachment aware school choice gamble.

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