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We Are Family

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We are family

148 posts in this category

I Hate You.

I was at a meeting with non adoptive parents and somebody brought up the fact that their child had screamed ‘I hate you' at them the day before and how hurt she had been by this, almost all of the other parents said that they had experienced the same and the group went on to discuss how difficult it is to hear  and how hurt they had been.

Both our sons have indeed declared their hate for us in fits of anger - as well as the possibly more dramatic ‘you are not my parents anyway’, but neither my partner or I had been hurt or upset.

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I Hate You.

Parenting is hard work.

I underestimated how hard parenting is.

I love my child dearly and parenting him has turned out to be both more wonderful and more rewarding than I could have ever imagined but also much much harder than I ever thought.

It's hard, testing work and it's difficult to navigate. 

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Parenting is hard work.

Change.

We sense a change.  

A small change, but a real change and - fingers crossed - a fundamental change. Although of course we could be wrong - we certainly have been before....

We think we are seeing signs that our younger son's anger and the screaming and shouting that are a consequence of that anger are being controlled. They are still there, still part of our lives, but it's somehow feeling different.  There now seems to be a desire from him that was clearly not there before, a desire to bring our 'battles' to an end. It's clearly a struggle, but a struggle that maybe he is winning. Slowly, gradually he seems to be taking control. 

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Change.

Bedtime Stories

....I’d share some of the books that have helped our family along the way as we wrestled with tangled feelings and attachments, not adoption books per se, just beautiful stories. So, this is not exactly a review, not exactly a blog, just some thoughts on the healing power of story. 

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Bedtime Stories

Are You Gay?

Why is it apparently so difficult for parents to ask their children if they are gay?

Time and time again we read or watch accounts of young men and woman coming out and saying that their mother or father said that they had realised for a long time.

Realised, but had said nothing. 

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Are You Gay?

What the Actual...

......I once told off a Dad at a football match for swearing in front of his 7-year-old son and told them both off even more when his son aimed the swearing at me... And had the audacity to tell the Dad off and to say “Look what you’ve taught your son to do – how proud you must be.” And surprisingly got away without a split lip for my trouble.

 

 

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What the Actual...

What Positives Adoption Has Brought To Our Lives.

Of course there are negatives - unexpected worries, stresses and difficulties that we have to deal with everyday, but this blog is just about the positives - which thankfully dominate our lives and put the negatives into perspectives. 

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What Positives Adoption Has Brought To Our Lives.

A Thicker Skin

In Sleeping Beauty the King and Queen invite all the fairies in the kingdom (except one of course with disastrous  consequences..) to bestow gifts of beauty and character apon their new daughter the princess Aurora and whenever I read it it strikes me they massively missed the point. 

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A Thicker Skin

Letter Box Contact.

Yearly letter box contact has been agreed and we diligently get the boys to write Christmas cards for birth Mummy and Daddy - regardless of indifference from our oldest and huge resistance from his younger brother - in addition we put pen to paper and write a letter updating them on the boys past year.

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Letter Box Contact.

Gold Tooth.

A greasy winter’s day a couple of years ago I was walking down the street, as you do, pushing a newly arrived Jack in his buggy and my goddaughter by my side. My little brand new family and hers were heading off for some half term shenanigans.

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Gold Tooth.

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