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AttachmentBecoming a familyChristmasFamilyParentingWe are Family

The Twelve Blogs of Christmas #3: Not this year’s festive favourite.

DSC_4359I think it’s fair to say I am not this year’s festive favourite!
The reason being we have decided to try and have the Christmas we want for ourselves and our children – rather than a (vain) attempt to balance everyone else’s desires with our own.
We are seeing all our family, just not on Christmas Day or Boxing Day…
My Christmases up to now have always felt like snatched moments of joy in a sea of obligation. The dynamic hasn’t exactly been uplifting. I don’t want our children to be saying the same when they are adults. It also feels like a unique opportunity in the year to regroup, spend a period of special time together when the outside world really does retreat a little. It could even be a bit restorative – and boy would that be great.
My mother feels my approach is selfish. She wants to spend Christmas with her children and grandchildren. I understand that and am sorry, but realised I am getting better at prioritising my own sanity and the needs of my primary family of four. She can’t really grasp the turbulence of our daily life, especially at this time of year, or the value of moments like Christmas on our long road towards secure attachment. And hey, if the kids are really challenging, there’s always somewhere to run! Happy Christmas!!

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