If anyone is familiar with the five ways to wellbeing, one
of the quadrants (ignoring that this is quadrant no. 5!) is to give to others.
One way I’ve been able to do that is by supporting potential adopters via
sessions at the agency I adopted though. I troop up to Barkingside once every
few months, usually harassed and running late due to my nine year-old’s fear
that I am not coming back! I always ask my little munchkin if there is anything
she would like me to say, and this varies depending on her mood. This time I
had a huff and a “Really? Again?” So we decided it would be so much easier if
she wrote it down so I wouldn’t have to keep asking her! Below is exactly what ten minutes of her mind created – totally unprompted (I have not changed
anything; everything is her own words and style…except for adding the YouTube
link which she insisted I help her with.
So from the mouth of a babe……
Hi my name is AAK –
well, my nickname is – and I am talking about what you should do if you want to
adopt. I am mum K’s daughter and I love gymnastics and sweets and I am nine
years old and have lived with mum since I was 6 years old. What I would tell
Remember when I come to your house, it isn’t OUR house yet and
you are a stranger – I don’t know you, even if you think you know me!
Please don’t keep hugging me if I am not ready – it doesn’t
mean I don’t like you.
I really like sweets.
If I shout, you should move to a different room to me
because you might start to shout and then I become scared and in the end we
will feel sorry!
If I feel sad you should give me hugs!
If I try to hurt
myself you should give me hugs and keep me in your arms for a very long time
and hold me tight. If I try to fight, take me to my bedroom and get a pillow
for me to scream in and keep on telling me its OK until I feel fine !
Every night or morning do 4 7 8 breathing for twelve weeks and we will be more calm!
Every morning make time to play for 10 minutes and in the
evening play for 20 minutes but let them pick what they want to play with.
If you’ve planned to go out and they just want to lay in bed
with you, you should pick to lay in bed
Its OK having two mums but I don’t really like talking about
her all the time.
Write letters to their old mum and ask them if they want to
write something or if they want to know anything, but don’t force them.
I don’t know why I do things sometimes so there is no point
That’s all from me and good luck, AAK x