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Life Story Work Conference Round Up

The 2018 Adoption UK Life Story Work conference opened with a speech from Sue Armstrong-Brown about the difference between the facts of our life versus the narrative.  Many of our children are given the facts of their life but are unable to create a meaningful narrative without assistance.  This is why life story work can be so important.

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Coping Mechanisms

We spend a considerable amount of time thinking about and trying to work with our children's coping mechanisms. What I didn’t give enough consideration to was how I would feel about giving up my own coping mechanisms that, until I was 44, had kept me safe and stable. 

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Time Out!

Last weekend, we had one of those classic adopter moments. Just getting on with life when, suddenly, pitch invasion by Grief.

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Not Who I Thought I'd Be

I am not the parent I thought I’d be. And yes, I am totally intimidated by ‘everyone else’ who seems to be parenting perfectly and totally in control. YOU LOT – how do you do it?

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Bounce Back Blog: The Diagnosis

I attended a lecture recently where I again heard the assertion that autism and ADHD are over-diagnosed in our kids.  I had to raise the point that in a system where support is only given where there’s a diagnosis, are they surprised?  Is it wrong?  

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A Day With Rosa

This blog follows on from 'A Tribute to a Foster Mum'. Last week's blog described only a fraction of what she means to us. In this post I will continue my tribute, and include her family. A pivotal point is the trust my husband and I place in her, that key piece of the puzzle that is Max's life.

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Tribute to a Foster Mum

My husband and I were scared witless the first time we met our son’s foster mum. She didn’t make eye contact with either of us and her body language was closed - hostile, even. Both arms wrapped tightly across her soft bosom.

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An Almost Mistake - Maybe

A recent weekend away with a friend's son threw up moral dilemmas that I was not expecting. How we parents have to interpret other families' norms, how our own standards clash with those of the culture we're parenting in, and how innocent assumption can lead us into treacherous territory.

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Oh, All Kids Do That

These are words that I’m sure we’ve all heard many times from well-meaning friends and family. We know they’re trying to reassure, to be kind and that, really, they mean, “Don’t worry, you've got this, you’re doing a good job.” But that’s often not how the words are heard. For me, I always hear them as, “Don’t make such a fuss; you’re over thinking things; the problem must be you, if you’re finding this so hard.”

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