Missing Dad

By Holidays, Loss, Same sex parenting No Comments

My husband has just come back from four nights away. For many families, there’s nothing unusual in that. Weekends away and work trips are regular occurrences, and many families take them in their stride. It is unusual for us, though. In the four years since the boys came to live with us, I’ve never spent a night away from them, and my husband has only been away twice, each time for two nights. 

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The Wrong Therapy

By Uncategorised No Comments

The wrong therapeutic intervention doesn’t help – and can be dangerous. The writer of our fourth ‘Therapy series’ blog shares how her home life and relationship with her son was compromised, and gives valuable advice on finding the right approach for your child.

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Freedom

By Therapy No Comments

In the third blog of our ‘Therapy’ series, we are privileged that an adult adoptee is writing for us. Early trauma sows the seeds of low self-esteem before adoptive parents are even on the scene. But how can therapy help, later on?

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It’s Not Your Fault

By Uncategorised No Comments

‘I thought my birth mum was dead!’ said our eldest this morning, as we discussed the letter box contact we’d just sent off. We looked at him in amazement. We thought we’d been through this, again and again. ‘How did I get left, if she wasn’t dead?’

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The L Word

By Parenting, The Great Behaviour Breakdown, Therapeutic parenting, Trauma No Comments

In this age of fake news, perhaps I need to re-evaluate my
feelings about lies. I hate them. I have a thing about lying, cheating and
everything else to do with falsehood.

And I know we are not supposed to use the L word, but I do. Something that’s dishonestly
made up is a lie. I know that’s not therapeutic, but, like I said, I have a
thing about it. How can I be therapeutic for something I need therapy about?

Enough of me. This is actually about my otherwise delightful
son, who is very much into lies.

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Connection

By The Great Behaviour Breakdown, Therapeutic parenting, Trauma No Comments

I took The Great Behaviour Breakdown course to manage his
behaviour.  Tell him you know how angry
he is, they said in the classroom.

Jump up and down with him when he’s angry, they said. 

Try to get him spinning, they said.  It regulates the vestibular system in his
brain. 

I jumped.  I
spun.  I shouted. 

“I would be so angry too,” I shouted.  And my son screamed at me, so high and shrill
and then he hit me harder and opened his jaws as if to bite.   It
made it worse. 

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