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Adoption assessmentBecoming a family

The Questions #17 A peek into how we do family

Photo by Lili Gooch 

How and when does your child/children wake you in the morning?

Pixie usually comes in about 4am either tapping his mouth and saying “Dee” which means his dummy has dropped out and he cannot find it or holding out his arms and making his “pick me up” noise. Either way, he then ends up snuggled in with us for the next couple of hours.

Why Adoption?

Nothing else felt like the right way to have a family.

From start of assessment to bringing your child home how long did the process take?

One year- and that was with approval panel being delayed twice!

How could it be improved?

I don’t think we had any complaints over assessment or matching. My real issue now is the current legal climate: upper court judges treating adopters like unpaid foster carers and returning children to birth families who have been previously found by lower courts and experts to be unsuitable to parent. Four times in the past seven months, this time last year it had never happened. In my view, no due regard is given to how this will traumatise the children and too much emphasis appears to be given to birth parents’ rights. I think these upper court judges should spend some time on the front line of child protection and talking to adopters about the special kind of parenting these children need. I am very close to being put off adopting again.

What has been the biggest surprise?

How amazing it is. We keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, how can we have been this lucky?!

How was the assessment process?

Like free therapy! We did struggle a bit when panel was delayed but overall we had it easy.

What’s your favourite thing to do together?

Anything we do with him that makes him giggle- chasing pigeons, kicking a football, cuddles, tickles, you name it.

What makes you and your family laugh?

Him- so cheeky, he gets this glint in his eye when he is about to grab something we don’t want him to have and then he runs off cackling.

The best thing about being a parent?

Watching the bond between us grow and seeing his trust and reliance on us develop.

The hardest thing about being a parent?

Re point 8- keeping a straight face and not encouraging him by laughing!

The piece of wisdom you would pass on to a child?

Try to keep as curious as you can about your surroundings for as long as you can.

What time do you go to bed?

About 11pm.

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