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Not Who I Thought I'd Be

I am not the parent I thought I’d be. And yes, I am totally intimidated by ‘everyone else’ who seems to be parenting perfectly and totally in control. YOU LOT – how do you do it?

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Rollercoaster

We were told that our adoptive lives would be a rollercoaster ride, weren't we? My day started on a dizzy high, and now I'm sitting here feeling like I've been turned inside out.

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Bounce Back Blog: Equally Best


...." The notion that the father trumped everything simply because of ‘blood’ made me feel vulnerable and I confess fleetingly made me consider if my new role as a father could ever be quite as significant without that blood tie...

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Hey! That's my information!

...I wasn't sure how the other girl now newly outed as an adoptee to a complete stranger would react, but I needn't have worried. She turned to the other, hands on hips and said the following in a calm but confident manner.. 

"Hey! You can't just go round telling people that stuff! That's private. That's my information! It's up to me who I tell about that OK?"


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Coping Mechanisms

We spend a considerable amount of time thinking about and trying to work with our children's coping mechanisms. What I didn’t give enough consideration to was how I would feel about giving up my own coping mechanisms that, until I was 44, had kept me safe and stable. 

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Letter Box Contact.

Yearly letter box contact has been agreed and we diligently get the boys to write Christmas cards for birth Mummy and Daddy - regardless of indifference from our oldest and huge resistance from his younger brother - in addition we put pen to paper and write a letter updating them on the boys past year.

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7 Years

My mother lived to just 62, far too young of course and her death seemed illogical and unjust at the time. However, just how young she was is only now starting to sink in - more than 16 years later.

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Bounce Back Blog: The Diagnosis

I attended a lecture recently where I again heard the assertion that autism and ADHD are over-diagnosed in our kids.  I had to raise the point that in a system where support is only given where there’s a diagnosis, are they surprised?  Is it wrong?  

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The Never-Ending Family

Since we first read about our daughter, we’ve known that there were half siblings out there somewhere, in other adoptive families. This knowledge, which we had but she did not, has felt very heavy.

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