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Connection

I took The Great Behaviour Breakdown course to manage his behaviour.  Tell him you know how angry he is, they said in the classroom.

Jump up and down with him when he’s angry, they said. 

Try to get him spinning, they said.  It regulates the vestibular system in his brain. 

I jumped.  I spun.  I shouted. 

“I would be so angry too,” I shouted.  And my son screamed at me, so high and shrill and then he hit me harder and opened his jaws as if to bite.   It made it worse. 

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Not Who I Thought I'd Be

I am not the parent I thought I’d be. And yes, I am totally intimidated by ‘everyone else’ who seems to be parenting perfectly and totally in control. YOU LOT – how do you do it?

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Travelling Together

I am in a really privileged position. Pre-adoption, I made it my mission to travel as much as possible and when I adopted I understood that this part of my life would end. But, surprise surprise, my six year-old came to me with a desire to travel and begging for a passport.

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Missing Dad

My husband has just come back from four nights away. For many families, there’s nothing unusual in that. Weekends away and work trips are regular occurrences, and many families take them in their stride. It is unusual for us, though. In the four years since the boys came to live with us, I’ve never spent a night away from them, and my husband has only been away twice, each time for two nights. 

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Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

If anyone is familiar with the five ways to wellbeing, one of the quadrants (ignoring that this is quadrant no. 5!) is to give to others. One way I’ve been able to do that is by supporting potential adopters via sessions at the agency I adopted though. I troop up to Barkingside once every few months, usually harassed and running late due to my nine year-old’s fear that I am not coming back! I always ask my little munchkin if there is anything she would like me to say, and this varies depending on her mood. This time I had a huff and a “Really? Again?” So we decided it would be so much easier if she wrote it down so I wouldn’t have to keep asking her! Below is exactly what ten minutes of her mind created – totally unprompted (I have not changed anything; everything is her own words and style…except for adding the YouTube link which she insisted I help her with.)

So from the mouth of a babe…

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A Simple Equation

For a large part of the time our son has been with us we have been waiting - and worse still expecting - for there to be a very obvious and significant improvement in his behaviour, waiting for the signs that he had indeed settled and that he had let go of his hurt and anguish and that he had embraced the love and more importantly the security he now had in our family.

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Gold Tooth.

A greasy winter’s day a couple of years ago I was walking down the street, as you do, pushing a newly arrived Jack in his buggy and my goddaughter by my side. My little brand new family and hers were heading off for some half term shenanigans.

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7 Years

My mother lived to just 62, far too young of course and her death seemed illogical and unjust at the time. However, just how young she was is only now starting to sink in - more than 16 years later.

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