Today, I was having a casual chat with another mum at my
son’s school and she asked me the details of his diagnosis. I’ve known this
woman for a while, we’ve swapped tips and ideas about many things and she’s
very open about her daughter’s condition, so I decided to tell her about FASD.
Her response was, “Well you’ve got it easy then.” If I had been sipping a drink
while we were talking, I’m pretty sure I would have spat all over the
receptionist and the foyer! Instead I just laughed, that nervous laugh I get
when I am literally speechless or it’s not polite to say what I actually think.
I was in shock, because I’ve never once considered myself or our family to have an ‘easy time’ or a ‘hard time’ – even with the same conditions all children are different! Everyone’s struggles are different, so I was slightly stunned that another SEN parent could have said or thought that – but actually it just further cemented in my mind that no one is truly empathic unless they actually wear your shoes. I can safely say the shoes would be given back pretty quickly in our case. Not because we have it ‘hard’ but because it’s just so complex.
The last two weeks we have faced our second sickness bug in four months; along with it some epic behaviours. Liam has six adult teeth breaking through and our birth son has four… my goodness, don’t we know it! His sensory processing issues are just causing hell on Earth, he’s lost control of his body so, therefore, is trying his utmost to push control over all areas of his life; even if it means going on hunger strike for what feels like forever (but please don’t panic, he’s been putting it away like a hamster at school, not that he knows we know that).
No matter how much stress we’re under or how much dismay we’re in by bedtime, I can’t help but try to look at it all as a positive. It may be all the wrong situations etc. but our guy is a character and is using all of these situations to build himself into a person, which will only make him stronger – along with us being stronger as a family unit.
P.S. I’m extremely optimistic tonight as I’m experiencing one of those ‘nights out’! I think that’s what they’re called, or at least used to be called; all I know is that I’m out without children, using a train and I have lipstick on… AMAZING!