Category

Attachment

​ Love And Attachment In The Time Of Corona

By Attachment, Covid-19 No Comments

WARNING: POSITIVE POST

In writing this blog I am acutely aware that what I am about to outline is far from the reality in many families. Many families and individuals, be they adopted or not, are seriously struggling right now. My heart breaks for these families for whom there is little – if any -support. Cooped up in increasingly untenable situations.

This post reflects the other side of that coin: the sizable number of families who are doing well.

Read More

Connection Down

By Attachment No Comments

This spring, our eldest boy will have been living with us for longer than he was at his birth parent’s. I was just thinking about it as I lay in bed listening to the rest of the family get up this morning. He came in for a cuddle and asked me when our next adoption celebration day would be. Clearly he’d also thinking about us and how long we had been together.

Read More

​‘What ever makes you think your son is securely attached?’

By Attachment, Becoming a family, Family, Post adoption support No Comments

‘What ever makes you think your son is securely attached?’ The kind therapist said. 

I was puzzled.

‘Erm. I’m his mum and he reaches straight for me if he is upset…?! …: Erm … dunno. We are very close. We have a strong bond… I think… I just know.’

‘Ok. How long has he been with you?’

‘Three years.’

‘I’d be very surprised if he was securely attached. Most adopted kids are insecurely attached.’

Read More

He is not my friend.

By Attachment, Becoming a family, Parenting, We are Family No Comments

A pet peeve of mine is children and parents describing their relationship as a ‘friendship’. 

Personally I feel that getting on with your child, having a wonderfully close relationship, sharing certain interests, being able to open up and share your feelings with them and encourage them to share theirs with you is not friendship – it is just good parenting.

Read More